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The Ultimate Connection

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Seven ways to catch and keep the girl of your dreams.

By Eric Leech

78_relationshipsRelationship experts know a lot about practical dating and often have a lot of great advice on how to approach and make a connection with a woman. However, their method of describing it usually comes in the form of a 200-page relationship book filled with diagrams, soul-mate projections, love quotes and heart-shaped chapter numbers. Most of us guys don’t have time to read through this stuff, so to make life easier, I’m going to break down all this information in to a simplified seven-chapter Cliff Notes version. “Women do not like a man who tells her what to do. However, they do like a man with a plan.”

Chapter 1: Assume She’s Interested

Confidence is at the core of every man who is worthy to women. If you are in an unfamiliar situation and would like to get to know a woman better, you should assume inter est and verify as you go. Women are complimented when a confident man expresses curiosity, regardless of whether she is interested.

Chapter 2: Proposition While Comfortable

Women are repelled by stress hormones just as much as they are driven toward confidence. First impressions are almost always based on how a man makes a woman feel. The problem is that most guys feel s tress when approaching any woman for the first time. Women can sense a guy who is anxious, so if you are nervous, go ahead and admit it. Women are comforted by men who seem familiar, similar or are men they share proximity with, such as working in the same building. This means that if you do not have any prior history to work from, you must create a connection based on trust, which means admitting why you may seem apprehensive.

Chapter 3: Signs of Interest

Part of being a good catch for a woman is being yourself. Playboy model Krystle Lina has told me, “Don’t bullsh*t me, or any woman for that matter. We will find out who you really are eventually.” The other half is using your Spidey senses to judge when you need to back off . A woman will make it obvious when she is not jiving with you. Occasionally, this can be an outside force you cannot control (bad day, etc.). The idea is to base your next move on her reactions. The most common positive signals to watch for are her leaning in your direction, teasing with her hair or neck, and mimicking your actions.

Chapter 4: Don’t Over-Impress

A lot of guys go all out on a first date. They go to the best restaurant, toss down their Armani coat in a puddle for her to walk on and open every door they come across. Then, by the time the third date rolls around, they are texting on their phone and hinting about going Dutch. As the sexy and opinionated Joanna Krupa has explained to me, “I hate when men try to show off how much money they have on a first date.” A polished impression is always good. However, if you build up a tall order of expectation, a woman may doubt your sincerity later. Never overextend yourself in to territory you will never live up to. There is nothing wrong with being yourself.

Chapter 5: Difficult to Conquer

Bad boys have an edge on nice ones because they offer a challenge to w omen. A bit of mystery and danger is attractive to women, so long as it has some sort of safety net (public place, etc.). Women also like being engaged in a playful disagreement or a bid to prove a silly boast of yours to be untrue.

Chapter 6: Make a Plan

Women do not like a man who tells her what to do. However, they do like a man with a plan, and they like a man who has some prior knowledge of her interests to back it up. An indecisive man who is constantly asking a woman what she wants to do eventually begins to sound like a dentist’s drill. This is why it is best to ask a woman what she likes once and then use this information to surprise her with an original date idea. Don’t worry, if she really doesn’t like something, she’ll let you know.

Chapter 7: Catch and Keep

The best tactic to getting the girl is to have her best interests at heart and demons trate true admiration and affection.

“A very good question to ask [a woman]is ‘How can I make your day better?’ ” describes Guess model Julia Lescova. “Show interest in her life, and most women will be happy.”


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