There is no shortcut to finding a compatible partner.
By Eric Leech
The best way to find a woman with similar values is while you are out enjoying your favorite hobbies and interests. You might find this hard to believe, considering that life on this planet has become so over-organized, alphabetized and computerized. When you want to exercise, you go to a gym. If you want good barbecue, you go to Franklin’s. If you want to find a date, you hang out in a singles bar or speed-dating venue. When you streamline love so that it fits into your busy schedule, you miss out on the opportunities that are all around you. Think about the places you’re currently looking for love, and consider this old adage: Birds of a feather flock together.
There’s No Shortcut
If you have the confidence to be your own happiness, you don’t need to fear being lonely. You are self-assured, self-sufficient and would be a great catch for any woman. Studies show that men make the best choice in women when they narrow down their choices to just a handful of hopefuls. Nevertheless, it seems that men ar e drawn to singles bars, which offer too many fish, with too little in common with most of them. There is a better way.
Overcome Your Fears
One of the biggest draws to a singles bar is the reduced fear of rejection. You may hesitate to approach a girl in a grocery store because you’re risking the possibility that she’s attached, or even worse, of appearing desperate. It’s easier to approach a girl wearing an “I’m available” tag at a speed-dating event than it is to strike up a conversation at the deli counter and casually offer your phone number, in case she has any other questions about macaroni and cheese. What you have to consider is a girl at a dating venue might be looking, but she might not necessarily be a good match (i.e. secretly married, prefers women, prefers cats, whatever). Finding love is more about overcoming your fears first, then discovering the best place to meet a girl. You already know where to go. She’s waiting at your favorite barbecue pit, church or golf course.
Make a list of all the things y ou like to do and then join a club, volunteer or take up a leisure sport you’ve always wanted to try. Immerse yourself in the world around you and the activities you enjoy. You will have a better chance of finding the woman of your dreams, fishing in your favorite goldfish bowl than throwing your hook into the vast ocean. Don’t get me wrong—finding love takes effort, but probably not as much as you think.
If you define happiness as being loved by a woman, then your ultimate happiness will always be when you control the choice of your potential mate. Today, I invite you to take back that control and discover that time is on your side when you’re spending it in great company… your own company!
While doing the things you enjoy, you’re reminding yourself that happiness can be achieved whether you’re alone or in a relationship. This is easy to forget, considering the advertising media is constantly bombarding your senses with images of sex, love and romance. Spend your days doing what you enjoy rather than dangling in murky water, waiting for your tuna to arrive.